To get married as a same-sex couple in the US, you apply for a marriage license from the clerk’s office in the county or town where the ceremony will take place, wait out any waiting period, then hold your ceremony before the license expires. Same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states, and the process is the same for every couple. The details, though, change from state to state, so this guide walks you through the steps and shows you what to check before you book a date.
The short answer
- Same-sex marriage has been legal in every state since June 2015, and every state must recognize a marriage from another state.
- You get the license where you will marry, not where you live. Most states do not require you to be a resident.
- Both of you usually apply together, in person, with photo ID.
- Some states have a waiting period before the ceremony, and every license expires after a set number of days.
- After the ceremony, the signed license is filed and you order certified copies of your marriage certificate.
Is same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states?
Yes. The Supreme Court made marriage equality the law nationwide in June 2015, in Obergefell v. Hodges. In December 2022 the Respect for Marriage Act repealed the Defense of Marriage Act and wrote two protections into federal law: the federal government must recognize your marriage, and every state must recognize a same-sex marriage performed in another state. The act does not itself require states to issue licenses to same-sex couples; that right rests on Obergefell. In November 2025 the Supreme Court declined to hear a case that asked it to revisit Obergefell, so the ruling stands.
Once the paperwork is clear, our complete planning guides for a gay wedding and a lesbian wedding cover the rest, from venues to vows.
How to get a marriage license, step by step
1. Find the right office
Marriage licenses are issued locally, usually by the county clerk or recorder, and in some states by a town or city clerk. Apply in the county or town where the ceremony will take place, or in the state where you will marry if the state allows any county to issue the license. Look up that office’s own website for its current rules, hours and fees.
2. Check what you need to bring
Most offices ask for:
- valid photo ID for each of you, such as a driver’s license or passport
- your Social Security numbers, in many states
- if either of you was married before, the date the marriage ended, and sometimes the divorce decree
- the fee, which varies by county
Many counties let you start the application online, then finish it in person together.
3. Apply together
In most places both of you must appear in person when the license is issued. Some counties take appointments only, so book early in wedding season.
4. Wait out any waiting period
Some states make you wait a set time between getting the license and holding the ceremony. Others let you marry the same day. A judge can sometimes waive a waiting period.
5. Marry before the license expires
Every license is valid for a limited number of days. Plan to get it close to the wedding, but early enough to cover any waiting period.
6. Hold the ceremony
Your officiant leads the ceremony, and you declare that you take each other as spouses. Many states also need one or two witnesses to sign. Browse LGBTQ+ friendly officiants and celebrants by area.
7. File the license and order copies
Your officiant, or in some places the couple, returns the signed license to the issuing office within a set time. The marriage is then recorded, and you can order certified copies of your marriage certificate.
Two examples: New York and California
The rules in two of the most popular wedding states show how much they can differ.
New York
- You apply together, in person, at a town or city clerk’s office. Nobody can apply for you.
- The ceremony cannot take place until 24 hours after the license is issued.
- The license is valid for 60 days, starting the day after it is issued.
- You need at least one witness besides the officiant.
- An officiant who performs ceremonies in New York City must register with the city.
The New York State Department of Health sets these out in its guide to getting married in New York State. For ideas on the day itself, see our guide to planning a gay wedding in New York City.
California
- There is no residency requirement, and you can get a license from any California county, but you must marry in California.
- Both of you must be present when the license is issued.
- There is no waiting period, and the license is valid for 90 days.
- A public license needs at least one witness. A confidential license, available to couples who already live together, needs none, and the record stays private.
San Luis Obispo County’s clerk lists these rules on its marriage license page, and your own county clerk’s page will match them. Our guides to a gay wedding in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Palm Springs help with the rest.
Choosing your officiant
Who can legally marry you is set by state law. Judges, certain public officials and ordained clergy can officiate in every state, and many couples ask a friend to become ordained for the day. If you go that route, check the state’s rules first, including any registration the officiant needs. An experienced LGBTQ+ officiant will know the local requirements and can help you write a ceremony that fits you both.
Marrying in another state
You can marry in any state, wherever you live, and your marriage is recognized everywhere in the US. Many couples choose a destination like Las Vegas, Key West or New England. Our top US locations for an LGBTQ+ wedding is a good place to start, and you can browse venues and suppliers across the US.
After the wedding: name changes and paperwork
If either of you is changing your name, start with certified copies of your marriage certificate. Update your Social Security record first, as other agencies check against it, then your driver’s license, passport, bank accounts and employer records. It is also a good time to review wills, beneficiaries and health insurance.
Then there is the honeymoon. Our sister travel company Out Of Office plans tailor-made trips for LGBTQ+ couples, including gay honeymoons across the USA, including Hawaii.
Frequently asked questions
Is gay marriage legal in all 50 states?
Yes. Same-sex marriage has been legal nationwide since the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, and the Respect for Marriage Act requires every state and the federal government to recognize your marriage. Our list of when same-sex marriage was legalized around the world shows how the US compares.
Do we have to live in the state where we get married?
Usually not. Most states issue marriage licenses to non-residents, and California, for example, has no residency requirement. Apply in the county or town where the ceremony will take place, and check its rules before you book.
How long is a marriage license valid?
It depends on the state. A New York license is valid for 60 days and a California license for 90 days, for example. Check the issuing office’s rules, and plan your application around any waiting period.
Photo: Sandy Millar on Unsplash
